“Some days I’m in better control and can navigate my way through stuff, and other days, not so much.” ~ Kiefer Sutherland
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This sums up how I feel about life in general. Haha, I feel that on a deep level.
Many times once you marry, deciding how to work the holidays becomes quite cumbersome. Especially if you have siblings who form a union and then you have multiple families and schedules to work around.
Growing up, I remember being very close to my mother’s side and everyone ALWAYS gathered at grandma’s house for the holidays and other get-togethers.
Maybe one day, that coming together can happen at my home with my children and their families. I look forward to the possibility.
In the meantime, what we generally do since we’ve all dispersed to different places, we rotate our holidays with each family. So, we try to figure out everyone’s schedules and do Thanksgiving with my sister and parents one year, then Christmas with the in-laws and the following year will be the opposite.
Christmas can be difficult due to the weather and travel, so we hope for the best and do what we can. Since Oriana’s birthday is the beginning of December, we tend to have a “Halvorsen Christmas” the same weekend (her birthday party Saturday, the Christmas celebration Sunday) so that we get to see his brother and open presents together and eat lunch before they head home.
Balance, communication, and doing what works best for everyone makes for a much easier time. Flexibility also helps, and some years I’m better at that than others. I’d like to think I’m improving on that aspect each year.
With Thanksgiving around the bend, if you have to navigate that terrain, keep these in mind.
You can’t always be fair, so just showing that effort at times makes all the difference. Showing that each side is important. All are included and considered when making plans.
This point, for any relationship, is key. I am a big planner, so preparing everything ahead of time means I feel ready and able to participate and complete anything necessary. Knowing what to expect also helps me maneuver our schedule in a way that allows me to make room for friends, family, and other plans and priorities. If I commit to something, I do not like going back and changing or revoking that commitment.
Definitely not my strength on this step. I believe in keeping your word, so I am a tough one to bend once I’ve set something up or agreed to something. BUT, learning that plans require changing once in a while and that’s okay has been important. My hubby proves much better at the spontaneous moments than me. For the sake of others’ calendars, switching up plans may be needed.
These tips help me in navigating holiday family time and you may find them helpful for your own road. Happy Holidays to all of you!
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