Work-Life Balance: I Wear Puke with Pride

Work-Life Balance: I Wear Puke with Pride

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Today, I’m happy to feature my first dad perspective! Andrew Tan takes on the elusive work-life balance we all seek. Not only does he reminisce a bit, but discusses how to handle a little one, newborn twins, a spouse, work, and his hobbyist pastime.

Walk on his side of life for a moment…

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As I write this, my shirt is festooned with baby spit-up. The air around me is rancid and sweet. I haven’t decided if I like the smell; maybe it’s endearing.

Dad-Hood

I’m a Dad now. More than that, I’m a father to a 2-year old daughter and twin newborn boys—three children in less than 3 years.

Life is different. Not better, not worse.

Different, as in the grass is greener over there, but I’m not looking over the fence to check. I used to be an avid hobbyist, in the sense that I used to spend all my time with miniatures and scale models. What exactly do I mean? Check out my site and you’ll see immediately from the photos. As an art form, I created and made miniature worlds.

Work-Life: Puke With Pride

This is my hobby desk (hours spent here).

Now, the “miniature me” has taken over—and as I cradle him in my arms I wonder how I’ll regain my work-life balance again.

The World Before Kids

Quiet.

I remember the quietness of nights. I could listen to a podcast, audiobook, watch television, or simply gone out an visited a friend. My wife and I would have long dinners on weekdays no-less!

If my phone rang, or I got a text, there would be no juggling act. You just whizzed away a few words or held onto a conversation for minutes…hours with nigh a second thought. Time was time, and I had a lot of it!

But, life had a simplicity to it. By my age, my wife and I had worked out a good routine. Without kids, a single day went from A to B. Alas, my job (work) and life fell into a dynamic balance. You worked to live.

Now that we have newborn twin boys (!), our life-bearings all point to two words: “survival mode”.

Survival Mode

My favorite movies are about the castaways who survive on remote islands after a shipwreck. With limited supplies, these protagonists learn to live without the luxuries of normal life.

Here I am. A Dad without the time to enjoy the luxuries of normal life—things like going to the bathroom for more than 10 minutes or being able to sit at my work desk to punch out a work e-mail.

Indeed, I used to work quite a lot from home. I’m an academic scientist, a fast-moving job which is itself mentally demanding, and quite logistically challenging. Scientific progress doesn’t wait for Dads. Or, does it?

Hobbyists Know How to Get Things Done

As a miniature hobbyist (and a career scientist), I’ve learned how to accomplish hard things efficiently.

A painted miniature figure for tabletop games.

For example, I’m great at analytical puzzles: if “Baby A” needs to drink 3oz of milk, and takes 15 minutes to finish the bottle, do I have time to take a 20-minute shower and check my emails before “Baby B” wakes up from his 90-minute nap?

The answer is “no” of course.

My 2-year old is a wildcard. A veritable jack-in-box ready to poop on my logical plans. This is fine though because I’ve also learned how to survive abject failure, like a bench experiment that doesn’t go right or spilling a pot of modeling paint all over your lap.

Well, here I am wondering how I’ll write my next blog post and get it ready for publication.

Win Small to Win Big

It’s a miracle I’ve learned how to manage my time. Staying organized is the best way you can make solid progress in any creative endeavor. Before kids, I planned projects ahead of time and included margins to buffer against distractions.

Paintbrush on red acrylic paint.

If I’m writing a paper or working on a freelance painting with a tight deadline for delivery, I’d plan ahead. I’d schedule my daily routines to make the best of my time. But importantly, I’ve honed how I compartmentalize and think about projects (i.e., see how I’ve thought about speed painting miniatures).

To work efficiently, you need to think efficiently. It takes practice. The mind-space it takes to work quickly under challenging conditions is enormous!

I’ve read somewhere that to maintain mental endurance for a specific task over extended periods of time the best thing to do is break a large task down into small pieces. Focus on the small pieces. Enter the flow. And, by accomplishing the small bits as quickly and as confidently as you can, you eventually wake up to find your huge mountain… conquered.

Now caring for two newborn babies at the same time, who barely sleep longer than my favorite movie, “Titanic” starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo Dicaprio, is hard work. Of course, while my mental acuity drains with every lost minute of sleep, My Heart Will Go On.

The Art of Surrender

I’m exhausted.

I’ve got a backlog of projects I want to complete; unfinished blog posts, unpainted models and scale miniatures. They all sit on the virtual shelf in my head, begging me to revisit them. Finish me, they say.

Well, despite my lamentations of parenthood, I’m the happiest Dad ever. Never in my imagination did I think I would have family quite like this. Busier than a swarm of bees, buried under a pile of stinky diapers—wearing the aroma of milk-vomit. The wet-stains on my shirt are shaped like Barney the Dinosaur.

But, I’m content—The purest form of satisfied.

And, more.

I’m filled with a sense of accomplishment. I’m actually doing the Dad-thing.

The puke I wear, I wear with pride.

(Though, maybe I shouldn’t have gotten a dog.)

Work-Life Balance: I Wear Puke with Pride

Andrew Tan Bio Headshot Guest Blogger

Andrew is a loving father (of three), a neuroscientist, freelance writer, and miniature hobbyist. He enjoys the discovery of a good book, a movie (preferably science fiction), and watching his children grow.

He is an avid writer and blogs regularly about his experience as a miniature hobbyist. His site is a daily journal, a lab notebook, and a sketch pad. It is a collection of ruminations written in the quiet margins of life (much noisier with kids!).

If the miniature hobby has taught Andrew anything, it’s that anything worth doing is best done with other people. Miniatures and scale models are mediums that allow him to see things from a different perspective. Through unique miniature pieces and places, he shares how he views and thinks about the World—a place where his kids will live.

If you’re looking for a Lifestyle Blog for Dads with hobbies, or simply want to check out some fun articles about parenthood, visit his site.

And grab your freebie on how to Get Lost in Your Child and really engage with them even on busy days. (I’m off to spend the day with the girls before brother gets out for the long weekend.)

If you have a little in diapers but aren’t sure which brand may fit the best for their little tush, feel free to try a mixed selection with the Diaper Dabbler!

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Top Five Tips for Moving with Children

Top Five Tips for Moving with Children

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Throughout the years, I have moved a handful of times. Okay, somewhere around 13 times in actuality. But, a friend of mine, Ariane, has moved nearly twice that. As some of you can likely relate, my hat’s off to you. With her knowledge and experience, she was kind enough to share a bit of advice she has learned along the way to make your move as smooth as possible (hopefully).

Get on with it, shall we?

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I have moved a LOT in my life; at the time of this writing the count is at 22 times; 7 before I was married, and 15 after, and 3 of those were with children with 2 of these last moves being across state lines (in one case the move was over a distance of 2,000+ miles). So, I like to think that I know a little bit about moving and hopefully moving well.

But you know what? No matter how many times I do it you can never predict or prepare for everything, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to. It just means do your best and when things get crazy just roll with it and try to enjoy the process, and I say this knowing exactly how difficult that can be!

So, to help you out and to hopefully make your move with kids a little easier; here are my top five moving with children tips.

Get help.

I know I know; this can be a hard one. Maybe you are moving to or from a place where you don’t have any family or friends that you can ask. I have done moves both ways, with no help at all and tons of help and I am sure that you can guess; tons of help is way more fun and a lot less stressful. So even if you don’t have friends and family that you can lean on, get help. Hire movers to come to help you move and even pack. Hire a cleaning lady to come do the move in and move out clean for you. And most of all hire someone to come and entertain your kiddos for that day of moving, and even days leading up to and following that move. You will be glad that you did, it is worth the extra money (and I am super cheap and try to do everything myself).

Make it fun and familiar.

Change is hard. Change for little ones is even harder. It can be scary to be moving to a new place, and little ones feel the weight of all of the change and uncertainty most of all. Talk a lot about the move to them during quiet times, so they know what is going to happen. Tell them fun things about their new home, go and visit with them and let them spend a bit of time exploring it if you can. Have something exciting for them to look forward to about the new place. In my most recent move, I bought a new blow up pool to go into our new big backyard, and my little girls were absolutely ecstatic about the opportunity to get into the new house and swim in the pool.

Moving with Children

Trickle in.

If your schedule and geography permit it, move a little bit at a time so that the intensity level is a bit less and the workload is a bit more manageable. This can be especially important if the workload is resting squarely on your shoulders.

Try to be patient.

It will take everyone a few weeks to a month (or more) to settle in and really feel at home. This is especially true if your kiddos are little like mine are (3.5 and 17 months at the time of this writing). That means everyone needs extra snuggles, might need more naps, earlier bedtimes, more snacks, and have more spontaneous meltdowns. I know how frustrating and exhausting this can be. But try to be patient with them, and with yourself. Unpacking can wait a bit, household projects can wait, whatever it is it can probably wait. Take a moment with the kids and take a moment for yourself.

This too shall pass.

When all goes awry, and you wish that you were on the other side of this thing, remind yourself that this is a brief moment in time, and you will soon be settled in your new home!

Happy moving!

Top Five Tips for Moving with Children

ArianeBioImage

Ariane writes stellar SEO, publish-ready content for a host of clients from all different backgrounds and with various and sundry needs. Clients choose her because she never misses a deadline, can flawlessly write in any tone desired, and competently compose prose on virtually any topic. She is an English major with the soul of a scientist and worked for 8 years as an environmental chemist before embarking upon her career as a freelance writer and virtual assistant.

On a rare day off, you can find her snuggled up with her four great passions; a good book, her husband, and her two young daughters.

If you are looking to make a career change, find a new job, or just want your resume updated, Ariane can breathe new life into your old resume or create a spectacular new one from scratch. Email her at ArianeCooley@gmail.com to discuss your project and see examples.

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And grab your freebie on how to Get Lost in Your Child and really engage with them even on busy days. (I’m off to spend the day with the girls before brother gets out for the long weekend.)

If you have a little in diapers but aren’t sure which brand may fit the best for their little tush, feel free to try a mixed selection with the Diaper Dabbler!

If you’d like to work with me, find out how! To see your words in my blog, contact me today for a guest spot!

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Rain on the Grass, Not on the Weeds

Rain on the Grass, Not on the Weeds

Another week of Heleniq A blessing us with her insight. This week, she discusses how to avoid the negative attention-seeking efforts your child may make. Or how to handle them once they arise. Communication, not getting worked up over little bits, and what to look for with your kiddos. Learn where to rain so you don’t water anything unnecessary. This post is a fabulous one!

Let’s get right to the goods…

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Children often act up because they want your attention.

From a psychologist with 20 years of consulting and teaching parents and families, I can definitely confirm that children love special love from their parents, this is how they measure their value. Without it, they’ll take anything they can get, including attention, even negative attention.

rain on the grass

Most children also love a big deal…they want to copy it and make a game out of it because they are naturally playful. That’s why they copy the school teacher making a cross face and pack out laughing after. To them, it’s all a theatre, and strong emotion is a brilliant theatre, right?

If you don’t want them focusing on something, the best way is to ignore it, even a few times. 

So, play deaf or walk away, when children have tantrums and they will quickly learn that there’s a better way to communicate. I mean, you probably know this already, but still, without a certain amount of spiritual fitness, you are very likely to react to challenging behavior if you’re anything like the 80% of normal parents out there. So perhaps it is helpful to understand even more so, what else you can do and why it is so significant.  

Kersey coined a term to explain how we could give attention to the behavior we like—not the behavior we don’t.

“Rain on the grass, not on the weeds”. In other words, don’t sweat the small stuff. Instead, here are three of the 8 strategies I developed to help parents communicate better with their children, without criticism, blame, shame and frustration. 

Ignore it, Even a Few Times

Play deaf or walk away when children have tantrums and they will quickly learn that there’s a better way to communicate. This helps you develop your spiritual fitness by reacting negatively much less and also primes your child to focus more on favorable behavior.

Exploit the “Energy Drain”

When a child acts up, it can become extremely draining for you over time. Sometimes this has been called the energy drain, and if you use it right, it can work to your benefit. For instance, you might defuse a sibling confrontation by saying;  “Wow, you need to take that fight with your brother somewhere else, because listening to that could cause me a big energy drain, and I don’t think I’ll have the energy to take you to the park after dinner if you carry on with it.”

Redirect, Redirect, Redirect

Kersey recommends offering a positive behavior to replace misbehavior. This is much preferred to constantly shouting “No”. The reason for this is that Kids who hear “No” or “Don’t” a lot start to tune those directives out. Instead of telling your child not to, for instance redirect them to something else.  So, for example, when s/he is acting up at the grocery store, redirect the child to help pick out oranges or rearrange the items in a grocery cart. A kid running around a swimming pool might be challenged to walk “as if on marshmallows.”

rain on the grass, not the weeds

Learning how not to sweat the small stuff is as much for you as it is for your child, an exercise that helps clean out your home from toxic shouting and screaming chaos and reaction. 

Instead, learn to guide and give your messages to your household in a powerful and firm, clear, and nonemotional style of communication. Communicating better with children, without criticism, blame, shame, and frustration helps them develop a much healthier level of self-esteem. And of course, when they feel respected by you, they will learn respect for others because children copy what you do not what you say.

Catch the upcoming webinars on HeartChild Harmony at Home May 31 on zoom or email Heleniq A for a quick chat what to be focusing on next to get Harmony in your home. 


HeleniqGuestBlogBio

Heleniq is passionate about women. Believing they are leading a new paradigm of leadership for society, she has advocated deeper look into femininity from her student days where she volunteered for South African rape survivors. She presents her insights at conferences in Liverpool, Athens, Holland, India, South Africa, and Cyprus.

She also uses rhythm to elevate women’s’ creative mystery, she deepens her loyalty to women with a continuous study of ‘Feminine Power’, Art of Love and Soulmate Series, Alpha females and women’s’ entrepreneurship with world-famous feminine thought leaders and femininity experts.

For this, she hosts the Women Of Truth X factor group on Facebook, LinkedIn and hosts international Women of truth Conferences and project.

Heleniq Argyrou www.heleniqa.com
Peak Performance Trainer, Heartchild Family Ultimate Peak Performance Program Speaker
ahaiqmail@gmail.com +357 99238660 / +31611101757 Skype: Ahaintelligence

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Are You a Spiritually Fit Parent?

Are You a Spiritually Fit Parent?

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Heleniq A graces our space again with a wonderfully enlightening topic of stretching yourself spiritually, going beyond initial reactions. I know I could always use some growth in this area, so her words have brought me comfort and awareness. You’re sure to take away tidbits from this post.

Expand your mind and body…


Spiritual Fitness is an increasingly important field. When you’re spiritually fit, you’re more aligned with your mission, you’re tapped into intuition, you feel a greater sense of support. And being spiritually fit influences your body in important ways. Join me here more.

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For me probably the most important thing about it is the radical change the brain goes through.

These changes are the focus of many studies these days in the field of neurobiology, neurogenesis and brainwave adjustments measured on EEGs. There are three very powerful things we can do easily when we are spiritually fit. These same things are extremely difficult to manage let alone sustain ‘easily’ when we are not spiritually fit.

Spiritually Fit Parent
Heleniq A on her Ahanassa Goddess Awakening Within Retreat in Cyprus, for all Awakening Women.

Here they are:

1. Get really comfortable with the unknown and or invisible, which equals trust. Some call this – Living in 5Dimensional reality. 

2. Handling bad attitudes from other people or negative vibes with objectivity a balanced mind or what some call ‘equanimity’ 

3. Achieving greatness or accessing your potential and optimizing it.

So many ways exist nowadays to develop spiritually, the only question is what works best?

There are many ways to develop your spiritual focus but what’s most important for parents is the calmness of mind state that that focus brings. Being inside the unknown really helps because no one knows what suffering and challenges your child will face, so it’s probably central to your success as a parent that you learn to handle this helplessness without freaking out or over disciplining, under caring, or even ignoring the real dangers your child faces.

A Spiritually Fit Parent
Heleniq A on the left at Teacher training course.

Often parents get so side-tracked onto micromanaging small issues they feel reflect a disrespect when in fact is almost a cry for help…like they are revealing a deeper inability to deal with the unknown out there, the way the world will shape your child over time.

What your child needs to learn is that you cannot save him/her from everything, accept this, and start seeing the beauty of life.

Harnessing the 2nd quality of equanimity, learning how to observe frustrating behavior teaches you to respond instead of reacting – probably the very reason God designed families and parents in the first place. 😉 Almost like a crash course in this kind of mindfulness that makes guiding a child lovingly in life possible, equanimity is a saving grace when the alternative is to be constantly fighting and breaking down, shaming and blaming your child for all s/he cannot do yet.

It’s pointless really.

Thirdly, the skill or rather spiritual muscle of expecting more from ourselves is so valuable mainly because it totally supersedes the lull and rut we can fall into with repetition and the daily demands of life. Achieving greatness or accessing your potential and optimizing it is not actually easy – but that’s only in the beginning. Once you get a little momentum, you’ll see that setting a slightly higher standard, say for example to stop shouting at your child can fast become a better feeling you have about yourself and your ability to practice this daily is nothing short of spiritual practice in going beyond your impulsive reactions. It takes finesse, higher values, and emotional intelligence that can benefit all areas of your life.

Also, it is entirely possible to do!

Without these skills, we are a total wreck lets face it. Shouting, screaming, demanding, longing for what doesn’t exist, and often totally distorting the reality of what our child is capable of. Now it’s your turn, try one of these points of focus this week. Time to flex that Spiritual muscle everyone and if you need any help, you know where to find me!

are you a spiritually fit parent?

HeleniqGuestBlogBio

Heleniq is passionate about women. Believing they are leading a new paradigm of leadership for society, she has advocated deeper look into femininity from her student days where she volunteered for South African rape survivors. She presents her insights at conferences in Liverpool, Athens, Holland, India, South Africa, and Cyprus.

She also uses rhythm to elevate women’s’ creative mystery, she deepens her loyalty to women with a continuous study of ‘Feminine Power’, Art of Love and Soulmate Series, Alpha females and women’s’ entrepreneurship with world-famous feminine thought leaders and femininity experts.

For this, she hosts the Women Of Truth X factor group on Facebook, LinkedIn and hosts international Women of truth Conferences and project.

Heleniq Argyrou www.heleniqa.com
Peak Performance Trainer, Heartchild Family Ultimate Peak Performance Program Speaker
ahaiqmail@gmail.com +357 99238660 / +31611101757 Skype: Ahaintelligence

Please, remember to sign up to my email list so you never miss anything flawsome around here!

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And grab your freebie on how to Get Lost in Your Child and really engage with them even on busy days. (I’m off to spend the day with the girls before brother gets out for the long weekend.)

If you have a little in diapers but aren’t sure which brand may fit the best for their little tush, feel free to try a mixed selection with the Diaper Dabbler!

If you’d like to work with me, find out how! To see your words in my blog, contact me today for a guest spot!

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Life-Changing Secrets for Parents

Life-Changing Secrets for Parents

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Lucky for us, Heleniq is back for another inspiring and touching post with some incredible life-changing insight. Balance, flow, equilibrium, or whatever you’d like to call it tends to be something extremely sought after. And, also quite hard to reach. Heleniq points out some excellent secrets to find that center.

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Excellent parenting means getting your Life, Love and Work in Flow.

Parenting requires a relaxed adult offering guidance and advice, setting boundaries, and most of all understanding the needs of his or her child. This kind of empathic tone is hard to harness when life is crazy chaotic or clumsy, so let’s look at what can be done to create that. A calm organized and flowing personal and professional life that allows spirituality and love to blossom.

Most adults, and parents have a multitude of demand put on them beyond those they put on themselves.

In this article, we will touch onto three central aspects of life that need to be well balanced for parenting to be successful. On a side note, all parenting is totally possible when life is chaotic, but it is less effective and obviously potentially dangerous in offering less quality time to children, more reactive decision making because of less patience and also punishing or negative approaches to children’s challenging behavior overall.

life changing

To circumvent a harmful or even at times dangerous parenting approach requires you the adult to have a handle on your life. Only then can you have the ‘space’ and empathy to really offer what a child needs daily, routine, understanding, guidance patience and care. So best is to consider getting your Life, Love and Work into a good flow with the following tips and tools.

Life

Make sure you are balancing your own needs in your life. You know the drill, good exercise, lots of greens and cruciferous vegetables, low coffee, dairy, and meat acids which slow digestion and lessen energy overall. One thing to add is to be looking at your overall attitude because nothing zaps your life juice more than feeling resigned and cynical about your daily flow. Of and if you are calling it a ‘grind’ that a giveaway that you need inspiration. 

Love

Higher love really takes discipline and communication which are both genuinely challenging to do well and often. Without these two primary skills, we become reactive and grumpy when others don’t fulfill our expectations. To learn an easy and helpful way to higher love you can join the Higherlove Facebook group for useful tips and tools.

Work

Work consumes 70% of our waking hours with a Gallop poll showing 87% of people are disengaged in their jobs rendering work one of the most dysfunctional concepts of human society today. Can you imagine … large segments of humanity are spending large chunks of their time at work, only to feel largely unfulfilled. Worst still, it “extracts” so much out of us that it could be the beginning of a way of life is essentially broken. One way to fix it is to understand your life purpose and direction better.

To know your gifts, talents, and areas of genius so you can start working smart, inspired, and not hard and angry, it helps to really take stock of it all and fix what you can, shift a little what you can’t and or start a whole new direction if you are ready for that.

life changing secrets

Here is how you can find out, take the step to get on a call about your personal 9 Styles of Leadership for Life and Health Balance. Follow the Truth about Peak performance, read Group posts about taking brain breaks and sleep boosting, the neuroscience of success, and way more called Heleniq A Consulting.

These three sure ways of getting the life-work balance and love life rejuvenated help parents acquire a relaxed approach where guidance and advice, setting boundaries, and deeper understanding of the needs of his or her child can unfold. Finding your flow even, ways to work more blissfully, and feel thrilled with your outcomes help boost your personal and professional space so you can be the parent you always wished you could be. A parent beyond the multitude of demands, a parent with life-changing inspiration to share.

life-changing secrets for parents

HeleniqGuestBlogBio

Heleniq is passionate about women. Believing they are leading a new paradigm of leadership for society, she has advocated deeper look into femininity from her student days where she volunteered for South African rape survivors. She presents her insights at conferences in Liverpool, Athens, Holland, India, South Africa, and Cyprus.

She also uses rhythm to elevate women’s’ creative mystery, she deepens her loyalty to women with a continuous study of ‘Feminine Power’, Art of Love and Soulmate Series, Alpha females and women’s’ entrepreneurship with world-famous feminine thought leaders and femininity experts.

For this, she hosts the Women Of Truth X factor group on Facebook, LinkedIn and hosts international Women of truth Conferences and project.

Heleniq Argyrou www.heleniqa.com
Peak Performance Trainer, Heartchild Family Ultimate Peak Performance Program Speaker
ahaiqmail@gmail.com +357 99238660 / +31611101757 Skype: Ahaintelligence

Ultimate Back to Work Pumping Class

Please, remember to sign up to my email list so you never miss anything flawsome around here!

If you have a little in diapers but aren’t sure which brand may fit the best for their little tush, feel free to try a mixed selection with the Diaper Dabbler!

And grab your freebie on how to Get Lost in Your Child and really engage with them even on busy days. (I’m off to spend the day with the girls before brother gets out for the long weekend.)

If you’d like to work with me, find out how! To see your words in my blog, contact me today for a guest spot!

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No Bad Children: Finding the Root of Behavior

No Bad Children: Finding the Root of Behavior

Today’s topic from my guest Heleniq A. hits my heart. I recall picking my son up from daycare one day and hearing him tell me he was a bad boy. A friend of mine owned the daycare, and I promptly sent a message relaying my disapproval of using that phrase in any instance.

Behavior can be guided but is not all-consuming of a being big or small.

Family, Fun, and Flaws is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.


“Realize that whatever a child does, we may label as bad, the child is doing the best he can. It’s our job as parents to find out why [s/he is] doing it” – Naomi Aldort.

Understanding the meaning behind your child’s behavior is one way for you also to grow. Really when we are “Raising Our Children, we are really also Raising Ourselves.

root of behavior

Experts say that children want to behave well; if they seem to miss the mark, it’s not without a valid reason. There are deep reasons for all behavior, certain thoughts, and specific feelings drive actions and behaviors. These can become habits over time and some of them may annoy you, but there is always a deeper reason.

How can you find the root of the behavior? 

Learn to search for the valid root of negative behavior. We can investigate with questions, quietly observe the habit over time, ask siblings and when it feels right even ask directly what your child is feeling a while after the behavior has happened.

When we know the cause, we can remove it and go about doing the important part – heal the emotions – so the child won’t be driven to behave in that way anymore when we do. 

Is your child hitting her sister for your attention?

Maybe you stayed on the phone too long or ignored her as you rushed to get dinner on the table. If so, what correction can you make to your own behavior that will satisfy your child’s need?

Don’t overlook behavior hoping it will pass. Parents may be trying to avoid conflict of confrontation with their child. It could also be that they expect too much. Remember this and try to be consistent with your expectations because parents often overlook a certain behavior in the hope that it will pass.

As Aldort says, “A lot of what we expect of children is unreasonable.”

Alluding to the idea that adults often treat kids like adults but their brains are nowhere developed to have a sense of adult reasoning. So, they cannot perform and deliver various ‘common sense’ actions or understand certain instructions as easily as adults wish. They are often innocent and pure in their impulsive reactions as these are what they need to learn from their environment, trial and error.

A really good place to look for guidance about how to consider the innocence and purity of your child and his or her behavior is in the field of Positive Parenting.

finding the roof of behavior

Experts teaching, practicing, and emulating positive discipline are leading example very consciously. Dr. Katharine C. Kersey, the author of “The 101s: A Guide to Positive Discipline,” says that parents need to model the types of behavior they want their children to emulate.

Another key point is to focus on controlling yourself, not your child.

In serious flare-ups count to 10, taking a deep breath or simply walk away to collect yourself because only when you can manage your stress anger and frustrations can you stop feeding misbehavior. One key turner for this is your voice.

Keeping your voice in check instead of yelling that your child is doing something wrong is extremely helpful, along with various strategies and tips on how to communicate effectively.

By no means an easy feat, parenting requires discipline itself, but most importantly respect for your child’s vulnerability, innocence, and purity.

Try to hone this art of caring with a positive approach and lessen all negativity. It is possible to be a firm and serious parent and loving forgiving at the same time. If you have any confusion about that or queries on how to activate your parenting style to be less harmful or even for support on the journey, get in touch with a professional.

Calming your nerves this way does wonders to your load and ability to parent with respect because really there are No Bad Children.

Get your free Gift “Children’s Behaviour Secrets” How to help us, then to help them grow without damaging their sense of self, without criticism, shame and blame.

Includes two powerful strategies to teach Powerful Skills for Raising Boys; Why you need to stop bribing your child, The energy drain turnaround, Quality time minimums, How and why to redirect, How to talk to them the words to use, and more.

No bad children: Finding the root of behavior

HeleniqGuestBlogBio

Heleniq is passionate about women. Believing they are leading a new paradigm of leadership for society, she has advocated deeper look into femininity from her student days where she volunteered for South African rape survivors. She presents her insights at conferences in Liverpool, Athens, Holland, India, South Africa, and Cyprus.

She also uses rhythm to elevate women’s’ creative mystery, she deepens her loyalty to women with a continuous study of ‘Feminine Power’, Art of Love and Soulmate Series, Alpha females and women’s’ entrepreneurship with world-famous feminine thought leaders and femininity experts.

For this, she hosts the Women Of Truth X factor group on Facebook, LinkedIn and hosts international Women of truth Conferences and project.

Heleniq Argyrou www.heleniqa.com
Peak Performance Trainer, Heartchild Family Ultimate Peak Performance Program Speaker
ahaiqmail@gmail.com +357 99238660 / +31611101757 Skype: Ahaintelligence

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