The Intense Emotions of Motherhood We Rarely Talk About

The Intense Emotions of Motherhood We Rarely Talk About

My guest today, Rosemary, brings a unique perspective on emotions with skills you may not be familiar with. SO much value, I am honored to share a platform for her to spread her message and help parents through her knowledge.

Take it allllllll in…


Motherhood is totally a wild ride of ups and downs and our emotions are a HUGE factor in that. In this post, we’re going to dive into the intense emotions of motherhood we rarely talk about. We will discuss why they are of the utmost importance and what to do when they show up.

Let’s start off by just naming these emotions. There are 5 main emotions of motherhood we typically don’t like and they are: ANGER, FEAR, DEEP SADNESS, ISOLATION, and SHAME. All of these emotions have the likelihood of cycling together and/or being layered on top of one another. Many of us have even experienced all of them AT THE SAME TIME. These emotions are incredibly common, but the tools for how to deal with them… not so common. I am here to help with that!!

Intense Emotions

THE TRUTH ABOUT EMOTIONS:

When we experience emotions we don’t like, it’s uncomfortable, and it feels like they are a problem we need to solve. Truthfully, our emotions only become a problem when we believe they make up WHO WE ARE. Really, our emotions are just messages. Messages that reveal to us our WANTS and our NEEDS. Some of those wants and needs are so deep and so powerful that the message can feel like it IS us.

If we believe our emotions define us, that means WE are the problem – yikes! Since PEOPLE can’t be problems we’re left trying to solve a problem THAT DOESN’T EXIST. When that happens, the real problem sits there unsolved and festering. It’s an unfortunate cycle that keeps us from moving forward.

I want you to know, mama, that you never were and never are the problem. As stated above people cannot BE problems they can only HAVE problems, and yes, there is a big difference.


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EMOTIONS ARE JUST MESSAGES??

Yes! Emotions are just messages – fantastic, powerful, intelligent messages about what we NEED and WANT. Reading these messages is the key to a satisfying life. A life where you function connected to your INNER GUIDANCE.

What we generally do with an emotion we DON’T LIKE is we try and stuff it down, avoid it, do whatever we can to get it to GO AWAY! But emotions are the most important messages you ever get because they are from your deepest self (your INNER GREATNESS)! And it is SO important for you to ACCEPT and DECODE your messages so you can get your deepest needs met, hold boundaries with ease, and enjoy a deeply satisfying life!

Intense Emotions of Motherhood

THE TOOLS:

Now we get to the really juicy part – the tools to help you accomplish this accepting and decoding of the emotions in YOUR life!

LANGUAGE OF LISTENING® is the life and parent coaching model I follow and teach. It is amazing for one, because of how SIMPLE its tools are and how EFFECTIVE the results are! Today I’ll teach you a little about the foundational LANGUAGE OF LISTENING® tool called: SAY WHAT YOU SEE® to help you achieve that first and VERY important step of acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean staying in an emotion you don’t like, or being OK with it. It’s about acknowledging reality and getting grounded so you don’t get stuck.

To use this tool, whenever you have an emotion you don’t like, speak to yourself in the second person (“you”) and reflect back to yourself how you are feeling without any additions or any judgment. You note 1) How you feel and 2) What you want.

Like this: “Oooooo! You are just SO MAD right now! It drives you crazy when he does that! You just want to scream!”

Last year after tests for not 1 but 2 types of cancer I was super-fearful! I would wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air, panicking, with a pounding heart. After seeing a therapist 3 times with no respite I took things into my own hands and used LANGUAGE OF LISTENING®. I just said to myself: “You’re really scared right now. You don’t want to die!” A weight lifted off me once I acknowledged how I felt. That opened me up to see the positive side – “You don’t want to die – that’s so perfect! It would feel terrible if you wanted to die! Of course, you want to keep on being here for your girls!” A little more of that and my heart rate went down and I fell peacefully back to sleep!

The second tool, DECODING is important too!

To work on decoding your emotion, sit with that feeling and ask: What need are you trying to help me meet–experience, connection, or power? What exactly are you trying to gain for me?

Once you’ve uncovered the need it’s trying to meet, decide whether or not you like the way you are trying to meet it. (We often have needs from our childhood our heart is still trying to get met for us. Some of our thought and behavior patterns are no longer helpful so letting them go is an important point for growth). Once you recognize the need and the pattern you don’t like, you can start to look for ways to lovingly meet that need in ways you LIKE, ways that won’t keep sending these emotions you aren’t happy about.


Another personal example:

I always felt a certain amount of shame when my house was messy and this yucky feeling would bubble up to force me into cleaning. Finally, I asked myself what those feelings were trying to gain for me. It all came tumbling out – my heart was trying to protect me from my mother’s unkind judgments about my tidiness (or lack-there-of, in her mind) and gain her approval to meet my need for connection. It meant I was never cleaning for me, but only for her, and I did not like that pressure! Once I let my heart know that I no longer needed to be protected from my mother’s judgment and could meet my need for connection in other ways, I was able to fully embrace my love of a tidy space! Now when I clean it’s all for me! Cleaning is so much more enjoyable, and I can show up in my life on my terms, the way I want to.

There you have it, mamas!

Your intense emotions are normal and highly valuable!! They are messages aimed at helping you connect with your deepest needs and wants. No more pushing them away, you can now decode those messages and live connected to your INNER GREATNESS, showing up for your family in ways you LOVE!

The Intense Emotions of Motherhood We Rarely Talk About


RosemaryGuestBioImageRose Clark is an authorized LANGUAGE OF LISTENING® Life and Parenting Coach who teaches parents skills to find healing through parenting their children and/or reparenting themselves. She specializes in connecting people with the messages of their emotions so they can hold boundaries with ease and show up for their families in ways they LOVE! You can follow her on Instagram @after_aces and join her Empowered Parents Facebook group here: https://facebook.com/groups/1732344856909528



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The Right to Her Own Happiness

The Right to Her Own Happiness

New perspectives captivate me. My new guest provides that. Asmini discusses overcoming a taboo part of life to find her strength and joy.


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You do not want to miss this…


The emotional warmth of the Autumn season has truly filled the corners of my home and the energy of my family is at an all-time high as it’s finally cooling down a bit here in North Texas. The Festival of Lights, or otherwise known as Diwali and the Indian New Year are approaching very quickly.

Growing up in America, celebrating Indian traditions and holidays are among my most cherished memories. It was a time I spent eating homemade specialty foods surrounded by family, love, and laughter. At this time, Indian families around the world welcome the Goddess of wealth and prosperity to light up their path and remove the darkness around them.

Lighting decorative candles and embracing artistic expression are definitely a must right now!

Even still, my mother and grandmother spend many hours creating a renewed atmosphere by refreshing the home and the family temple as well as making delicious homemade Indian treats. I was born in Oklahoma and raised in Texas and have always been a proud Texan, but I am so very proud of my heritage, the Indian culture itself is beautiful, distinct and unique, and is built by men and women of great tenacity, influencing philosophy not only across Southeast Asia but also the world. I look ahead and think about raising my son and creating similar experiences for him and combining them with my very American spirit.

The Right to Happiness

I realize as mothers, we often become so consumed, at times, by what we want them to experience rather than enjoying the moment and letting it become an entirely new version of the tradition for us and for our children while still honoring our own childhood memories.

I encourage myself and all of you to stop and remember as this special season approaches, to be mindful of the fact that all we have is this moment and to allow that to be our joy.


As a single mother of one, this time of year is all about creating new versions of normal. It has been a relatively short amount of time since my ex-husband and I separated, about 2 years, but already feels much longer in some ways. As the saying goes with children, the days are long but the years are short.

Fortunately, we have built a steady co-parenting relationship and it seems to be working well at the moment. It has been so crucial for me to nurture a routine of self-love as I put my opinions and the opinions of others aside and objectively parent in the best interest of my son and in the process, own who I am and own my story. Each day, my son gives me the continued strength I need to be the best version of myself.

In the Indian community that I was raised in, the term, Single Indian Mother, is almost an oxymoron phrase. Living alone, working, being happy, having fun and raising a child with their father, who is no longer the mother’s romantic companion is very taboo and reflects an unacceptable lifestyle in many Indian communities even in modern-day American. A single mother does not mean the obvious, it does not mean raising your child alone forever, it is not a life sentence of unhappiness and failure.

Fortunately, strong, like-minded women continue to rise to the occasion, owning their stories, and making a difference for themselves and their children.

Right to Her Happiness

While single parenthood may not be a planned action for most, I look at it as a gift of sorts. No matter what the reason for separation, each woman has the right to her own happiness. Where she is not happy, she does not thrive and as a result, her children may not thrive, and societies may not reach their potential. I am proud to say that I am among the brave who stepped out and created a new paradigm not only for my mental stability, sanity, and peace but for my son’s as well. It was the single most difficult decision I have had to make, and the fear of change, failure, loneliness, or judgment, were just a few of the disrupting emotions that took over my entire being for a short while.

Nonetheless, one day at a time, those emotions left the party, and others joined. Feelings of being brave, vulnerable, strong and acknowledging a sense of accomplishment with the tiniest victories, started to fill the air especially as I intentional made changes to my lifestyle, the people that I surrounded myself with, and the boundaries that I created. It is important to note, that the negative emotions cannot be suppressed, they have to be assessed, accepted, loved so that they can be released! There is no greater happiness than what is felt after you have overcome great difficulties or hardships.

My purpose is to raise awareness to the strength of the women that chose to create a new normal, to fight for their families, to own their lives and empower those very same women to be the best version of themselves and in turn raise amazingly resilient, happy children.

I am a believer of faith and destiny, in that, all things have a reason and if it didn’t break you, it will make you stronger.

Sometimes, I say, jokingly, “I think I’m good, I don’t need the additional strength!” Surprisingly, we don’t have a choice! All jokes aside, the power is already in you, to become a mom elevated! I am very fortunate to be here with you as a guest blogger, thank you for continuing to inspire me and so many other mothers every day. 

Take back your life! You only have one.

Signing off and sending you vibes of peace and love.

Asmini

The Right to Her Own Happiness


AsminiGuestBlog

In her blog, Asmini shares about herself and lifestyle as a single mother co-parenting with her son’s father, while working full-time as a Healthcare Professional. She has made it her mission to inspire mothers to revive their inner Goddess and take back their life by anticipating life’s disruptions and learning to work with them rather them against them, by investing in herself: body, mind, and spirit, there is nothing she cannot accomplish.

https://singleindianmommy.com


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They’d Be Better Off Without Me

They’d Be Better Off Without Me

I had someone reach out and offer this as an anonymous guest post. The piece spoke to me, and I felt it was too important of a topic not to share.

We all have had these thoughts or feelings. Hopefully, in sharing, simply realizing you’re not alone is enough to give you some strength.

Take the power in relatability…

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They’d be better off without me.

There was a very dark point in my life where I believed this to be true.

Better off without me

From the outside looking in, it made no sense. I had a loyal husband who loved me, the sweetest little girl in the world, we had just bought our forever home the year prior, and I had a flexible, work-from-home career that I enjoyed.

Still, I felt like I was drowning. Drowning in what? It feels silly writing it now but I know there are so many mamas out there who can relate. I was drowning in the housework, the dishes, the laundry, packing lunches, making dinner, gymnastics, piano lessons – the everyday, normal things of life.

My anxiety continued to worsen until I became extremely depressed.

They're better off

At first, it was a passing thought here and there but after a while, I thought it over and over and over in my head all day, every day – “They’d be better off without me”. I swore that if I wasn’t there to forget the clothes in the washer for two days or forget Wacky Wednesday and send my kid to school in normal clothes, they would be better off. If I wasn’t there to yell at my daughter or argue with my husband over what’s for dinner (because the thought of having to make another decision, no matter how minuscule, made me want to pull my hair out), they would be better off. If I wasn’t around to mess all of these things up, the people I loved the most would be better off.

Simply put, they’d be better off if I was dead.

Writing this now, I can see how distorted my thinking was. My thoughts became so dark that I ended up having two-week long stays in an in-patient behavioral health hospital. Having worked in the mental health field as a counselor and diagnostician (fancy word for diagnosing mental health disorders), this was extremely humbling.

With the help of some medication, A LOT of counseling, and the support of my family (especially my husband), I am happy to say that I am no longer in that place. I will always have anxiety to some degree, it’s just who I am. But now I have something else that I didn’t have before – grace.

I have always had the grace of God but I never gave myself that same grace… not for anything.

If I left laundry in the washer for two days, I use to think, “Great, I am so stupid, now I have to wash these same clothes again and I won’t have time to do that other load that needs to be done”. Now? Now, I graciously laugh at my forgetfulness, start another wash cycle, and then LET IT GO. I don’t tell myself how stupid I am or dwell over not having time for the second load. Because you know what? I’m not stupid! (And as far as that second load goes, it can always be done tomorrow.)

I am a busy, working mom and wife who can confidently say she’s doing her best at everything she takes on.

better off - grace

If I say something I regret to my husband, I apologize and give myself the same grace he gives me when he forgives me. If I have a hard day at work and come home and yell at my daughter over something silly, I’m honest with her. I tell her, “Mommy was upset about something else, nothing to do with you, I am sorry for yelling at you”. (Surprisingly, she is always understanding and gives me grace as well.) I tell her I love her and she hugs me tight, tells me she loves me too, and then goes back to playing as if nothing happened. And what do I do after that? You got it, give myself grace and try to do better next time.

At the end of the day, I know my family loves me just the same whether the sink is empty or full, whether I cook a well-balanced meal or we run through the Wendy’s drive-thru, and whether they have a clean pair of matching socks or not.

In addition to giving myself grace, I have found that it is important to give myself a guilt-free break every now and then.

happy girl is the prettiest - better off

Right now, I’m sitting in Panera, treating myself to an iced coffee. And guess what! I am here ALONE! I love my family more than anything but it is so important to get a break. When I need some alone time or time with friends, I always discuss it with my husband and he always says, “Go”.

Whereas before I was hesitant and felt guilty about going, now, I listen to him. I “go” and I do my best not to feel guilty about leaving him with the messy house, our daughter, and now our three-month-old son. Because you know what? Sometimes they are better off without me.

When I say that now though, I mean it in a completely different way.

By being gone for a couple of hours every couple of weeks to have some quiet time or see friends, I am taking care of myself. I come home refreshed and feeling at peace with whatever I walk into (messy house, crying baby, etc.).

Mamas, you have to take care of yourself in order to be the best you can be at taking care of your children. Why do you think when you are on a plane, they tell you that if there was an emergency, you are to first put YOUR oxygen mask on before helping others? Because if you don’t get yourself oxygen, you won’t be able to do anything for anyone else! Doing things for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s loving yourself!

So, as my husband says, “Go”. Go out for a coffee, go for a run, take a bubble bath, go out for a glass of wine – whatever! Just “go”, do what makes you happy! Because as Audrey Hepburn said, “Happy girls are the prettiest”.

They'd be better off without me


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A Day in the Life of a Mom with Twins

A Day in the Life of a Mom with Twins

My guest today puts a great comedic spin on the daily duties of a mom. Kids are a handful regardless of how many are running amok, but double the amount mess, fits, and chaos and I can suspect what a day in the life of a mom with twins is like.

Join her on a not-so-rare day with her twins.


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Rice bubbles. I don’t think I need to explain much about giving a bowl of fucking rice bubbles to 18mo twins. Tim poured them all a bowl then left for work, leaving me with little bits of that puffed crap everywhere. I get the twins down from the table, walk away to get the cloth ready to clean the little “I hate you” balls out from the booster seat, and of course, there’s Hazel and Socks frantically racing each other to eat the leftovers in the seat.

Day in the Life of a Mom with Twins

It’s fine, I can turn this around, so I bake some muffins with Sienna. Baking mums are happy mums, right?

WRONG!

Kids get eggshell in the mixture, the mixtures lumpy because their tiny arms do not have the strength to mix it properly, they’re spilling ingredients. “Oh, it’s made with love” people caption their Instagram posts which I can only imagine has been cropped to hide the reality of hell they experienced. We’re making memories guys, it’s fine. Or as our Fisher-Price vacuum says “me oh my, oh what a mess! Clean it up now, do your best!”

Today is meant to be our last rare sunny day for a few days, so I did a final 2 loads of washing, bringing the grand total over the past 3 days to 11 loads.

Mom with Twins

Go ahead and worship me, I’ll wait. 

After nap time, I hold two jars in front of me and ask “peanut butter or Vegemite?” Pointing at the peanut butter I have a slight panic attack because the jar feels incredibly light. There’s enough for their sandwiches which my friend thankfully makes them as apparently the ground is lava, leaving me armless. Off to the shops we go to get more peanut butter because if we run out and everyone loses their minds, I might just lose my fucking cool. Who are we kidding, I do that daily, but nevertheless, that’s one future tantrum I can avoid. Hi-five for future Katie! 

Day in the Life with Twins

No one is enjoying being restrained in the trolley. No amount of free fruit, crackers or stern “no’s” could rein in the hell being unleashed. Sienna’s yanking the trolley, Violet’s yanking Hazels hair, Hazel’s yanking all my fingers off the trolley, and I’m yanking down some sweet fresh oxygen filling my lungs to the brim, ready to unleash my own hell on these tiny she-devils…whom I love so dearly. 

On our return home, I noticed a few sprinkles on the windscreen.

Honestly, if the washing gets rained on, I might just turn into a thunder God and let the rain wash over me while performing the most obscene booming of words my mouth can assemble. 

To end the night, Sienna asked me to read her “The bear went over the mountain”. One thing I really love to do is to read to my kids. After I started she said to me “no mummy, you are meant to sing it” so of course, I started singing. A few sentences in she cuts me off abruptly with “actually, you can just read it”. Tim offered to get me some ice for that “SICK BURN”. I’m currently digging him a hole in the backyard. 

A Day in the Life of a Mom with Twins


KatieGuestBlogBioImage

 

Katie is a loving mum to 3 girls aged 4 and 18mo twins. She works for herself casually as a hairdresser and loves sharing stories about her busy days to brighten up other people’s days. 

 

Follow along on her Facebook page HERE.

 


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Work-Life Balance: I Wear Puke with Pride

Work-Life Balance: I Wear Puke with Pride

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Today, I’m happy to feature my first dad perspective! Andrew Tan takes on the elusive work-life balance we all seek. Not only does he reminisce a bit, but discusses how to handle a little one, newborn twins, a spouse, work, and his hobbyist pastime.

Walk on his side of life for a moment…

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As I write this, my shirt is festooned with baby spit-up. The air around me is rancid and sweet. I haven’t decided if I like the smell; maybe it’s endearing.

Dad-Hood

I’m a Dad now. More than that, I’m a father to a 2-year old daughter and twin newborn boys—three children in less than 3 years.

Life is different. Not better, not worse.

Different, as in the grass is greener over there, but I’m not looking over the fence to check. I used to be an avid hobbyist, in the sense that I used to spend all my time with miniatures and scale models. What exactly do I mean? Check out my site and you’ll see immediately from the photos. As an art form, I created and made miniature worlds.

Work-Life: Puke With Pride

This is my hobby desk (hours spent here).

Now, the “miniature me” has taken over—and as I cradle him in my arms I wonder how I’ll regain my work-life balance again.

The World Before Kids

Quiet.

I remember the quietness of nights. I could listen to a podcast, audiobook, watch television, or simply gone out an visited a friend. My wife and I would have long dinners on weekdays no-less!

If my phone rang, or I got a text, there would be no juggling act. You just whizzed away a few words or held onto a conversation for minutes…hours with nigh a second thought. Time was time, and I had a lot of it!

But, life had a simplicity to it. By my age, my wife and I had worked out a good routine. Without kids, a single day went from A to B. Alas, my job (work) and life fell into a dynamic balance. You worked to live.

Now that we have newborn twin boys (!), our life-bearings all point to two words: “survival mode”.

Survival Mode

My favorite movies are about the castaways who survive on remote islands after a shipwreck. With limited supplies, these protagonists learn to live without the luxuries of normal life.

Here I am. A Dad without the time to enjoy the luxuries of normal life—things like going to the bathroom for more than 10 minutes or being able to sit at my work desk to punch out a work e-mail.

Indeed, I used to work quite a lot from home. I’m an academic scientist, a fast-moving job which is itself mentally demanding, and quite logistically challenging. Scientific progress doesn’t wait for Dads. Or, does it?

Hobbyists Know How to Get Things Done

As a miniature hobbyist (and a career scientist), I’ve learned how to accomplish hard things efficiently.

A painted miniature figure for tabletop games.

For example, I’m great at analytical puzzles: if “Baby A” needs to drink 3oz of milk, and takes 15 minutes to finish the bottle, do I have time to take a 20-minute shower and check my emails before “Baby B” wakes up from his 90-minute nap?

The answer is “no” of course.

My 2-year old is a wildcard. A veritable jack-in-box ready to poop on my logical plans. This is fine though because I’ve also learned how to survive abject failure, like a bench experiment that doesn’t go right or spilling a pot of modeling paint all over your lap.

Well, here I am wondering how I’ll write my next blog post and get it ready for publication.

Win Small to Win Big

It’s a miracle I’ve learned how to manage my time. Staying organized is the best way you can make solid progress in any creative endeavor. Before kids, I planned projects ahead of time and included margins to buffer against distractions.

Paintbrush on red acrylic paint.

If I’m writing a paper or working on a freelance painting with a tight deadline for delivery, I’d plan ahead. I’d schedule my daily routines to make the best of my time. But importantly, I’ve honed how I compartmentalize and think about projects (i.e., see how I’ve thought about speed painting miniatures).

To work efficiently, you need to think efficiently. It takes practice. The mind-space it takes to work quickly under challenging conditions is enormous!

I’ve read somewhere that to maintain mental endurance for a specific task over extended periods of time the best thing to do is break a large task down into small pieces. Focus on the small pieces. Enter the flow. And, by accomplishing the small bits as quickly and as confidently as you can, you eventually wake up to find your huge mountain… conquered.

Now caring for two newborn babies at the same time, who barely sleep longer than my favorite movie, “Titanic” starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo Dicaprio, is hard work. Of course, while my mental acuity drains with every lost minute of sleep, My Heart Will Go On.

The Art of Surrender

I’m exhausted.

I’ve got a backlog of projects I want to complete; unfinished blog posts, unpainted models and scale miniatures. They all sit on the virtual shelf in my head, begging me to revisit them. Finish me, they say.

Well, despite my lamentations of parenthood, I’m the happiest Dad ever. Never in my imagination did I think I would have family quite like this. Busier than a swarm of bees, buried under a pile of stinky diapers—wearing the aroma of milk-vomit. The wet-stains on my shirt are shaped like Barney the Dinosaur.

But, I’m content—The purest form of satisfied.

And, more.

I’m filled with a sense of accomplishment. I’m actually doing the Dad-thing.

The puke I wear, I wear with pride.

(Though, maybe I shouldn’t have gotten a dog.)

Work-Life Balance: I Wear Puke with Pride

Andrew Tan Bio Headshot Guest Blogger

Andrew is a loving father (of three), a neuroscientist, freelance writer, and miniature hobbyist. He enjoys the discovery of a good book, a movie (preferably science fiction), and watching his children grow.

He is an avid writer and blogs regularly about his experience as a miniature hobbyist. His site is a daily journal, a lab notebook, and a sketch pad. It is a collection of ruminations written in the quiet margins of life (much noisier with kids!).

If the miniature hobby has taught Andrew anything, it’s that anything worth doing is best done with other people. Miniatures and scale models are mediums that allow him to see things from a different perspective. Through unique miniature pieces and places, he shares how he views and thinks about the World—a place where his kids will live.

If you’re looking for a Lifestyle Blog for Dads with hobbies, or simply want to check out some fun articles about parenthood, visit his site.

And grab your freebie on how to Get Lost in Your Child and really engage with them even on busy days. (I’m off to spend the day with the girls before brother gets out for the long weekend.)

If you have a little in diapers but aren’t sure which brand may fit the best for their little tush, feel free to try a mixed selection with the Diaper Dabbler!

Please, remember to sign up to my email list so you never miss anything flawsome around here!

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If you’d like to work with me, find out how! To see your words in my blog, contact me today for a guest spot!

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Top Five Tips for Moving with Children

Top Five Tips for Moving with Children

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Throughout the years, I have moved a handful of times. Okay, somewhere around 13 times in actuality. But, a friend of mine, Ariane, has moved nearly twice that. As some of you can likely relate, my hat’s off to you. With her knowledge and experience, she was kind enough to share a bit of advice she has learned along the way to make your move as smooth as possible (hopefully).

Get on with it, shall we?

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I have moved a LOT in my life; at the time of this writing the count is at 22 times; 7 before I was married, and 15 after, and 3 of those were with children with 2 of these last moves being across state lines (in one case the move was over a distance of 2,000+ miles). So, I like to think that I know a little bit about moving and hopefully moving well.

But you know what? No matter how many times I do it you can never predict or prepare for everything, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to. It just means do your best and when things get crazy just roll with it and try to enjoy the process, and I say this knowing exactly how difficult that can be!

So, to help you out and to hopefully make your move with kids a little easier; here are my top five moving with children tips.

Get help.

I know I know; this can be a hard one. Maybe you are moving to or from a place where you don’t have any family or friends that you can ask. I have done moves both ways, with no help at all and tons of help and I am sure that you can guess; tons of help is way more fun and a lot less stressful. So even if you don’t have friends and family that you can lean on, get help. Hire movers to come to help you move and even pack. Hire a cleaning lady to come do the move in and move out clean for you. And most of all hire someone to come and entertain your kiddos for that day of moving, and even days leading up to and following that move. You will be glad that you did, it is worth the extra money (and I am super cheap and try to do everything myself).

Make it fun and familiar.

Change is hard. Change for little ones is even harder. It can be scary to be moving to a new place, and little ones feel the weight of all of the change and uncertainty most of all. Talk a lot about the move to them during quiet times, so they know what is going to happen. Tell them fun things about their new home, go and visit with them and let them spend a bit of time exploring it if you can. Have something exciting for them to look forward to about the new place. In my most recent move, I bought a new blow up pool to go into our new big backyard, and my little girls were absolutely ecstatic about the opportunity to get into the new house and swim in the pool.

Moving with Children

Trickle in.

If your schedule and geography permit it, move a little bit at a time so that the intensity level is a bit less and the workload is a bit more manageable. This can be especially important if the workload is resting squarely on your shoulders.

Try to be patient.

It will take everyone a few weeks to a month (or more) to settle in and really feel at home. This is especially true if your kiddos are little like mine are (3.5 and 17 months at the time of this writing). That means everyone needs extra snuggles, might need more naps, earlier bedtimes, more snacks, and have more spontaneous meltdowns. I know how frustrating and exhausting this can be. But try to be patient with them, and with yourself. Unpacking can wait a bit, household projects can wait, whatever it is it can probably wait. Take a moment with the kids and take a moment for yourself.

This too shall pass.

When all goes awry, and you wish that you were on the other side of this thing, remind yourself that this is a brief moment in time, and you will soon be settled in your new home!

Happy moving!

Top Five Tips for Moving with Children

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Ariane writes stellar SEO, publish-ready content for a host of clients from all different backgrounds and with various and sundry needs. Clients choose her because she never misses a deadline, can flawlessly write in any tone desired, and competently compose prose on virtually any topic. She is an English major with the soul of a scientist and worked for 8 years as an environmental chemist before embarking upon her career as a freelance writer and virtual assistant.

On a rare day off, you can find her snuggled up with her four great passions; a good book, her husband, and her two young daughters.

If you are looking to make a career change, find a new job, or just want your resume updated, Ariane can breathe new life into your old resume or create a spectacular new one from scratch. Email her at ArianeCooley@gmail.com to discuss your project and see examples.

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