My guest today puts a great comedic spin on the daily duties of a mom. Kids are a handful regardless of how many are running amok, but double the amount mess, fits, and chaos and I can suspect what a day in the life of a mom with twins is like.
Join her on a not-so-rare day with her twins.
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Rice bubbles. I don’t think I need to explain much about giving a bowl of fucking rice bubbles to 18mo twins. Tim poured them all a bowl then left for work, leaving me with little bits of that puffed crap everywhere. I get the twins down from the table, walk away to get the cloth ready to clean the little “I hate you” balls out from the booster seat, and of course, there’s Hazel and Socks frantically racing each other to eat the leftovers in the seat.
It’s fine, I can turn this around, so I bake some muffins with Sienna. Baking mums are happy mums, right?
Kids get eggshell in the mixture, the mixtures lumpy because their tiny arms do not have the strength to mix it properly, they’re spilling ingredients. “Oh, it’s made with love” people caption their Instagram posts which I can only imagine has been cropped to hide the reality of hell they experienced. We’re making memories guys, it’s fine. Or as our Fisher-Price vacuum says “me oh my, oh what a mess! Clean it up now, do your best!”
Today is meant to be our last rare sunny day for a few days, so I did a final 2 loads of washing, bringing the grand total over the past 3 days to 11 loads.
Go ahead and worship me, I’ll wait.
After nap time, I hold two jars in front of me and ask “peanut butter or Vegemite?” Pointing at the peanut butter I have a slight panic attack because the jar feels incredibly light. There’s enough for their sandwiches which my friend thankfully makes them as apparently the ground is lava, leaving me armless. Off to the shops we go to get more peanut butter because if we run out and everyone loses their minds, I might just lose my fucking cool. Who are we kidding, I do that daily, but nevertheless, that’s one future tantrum I can avoid. Hi-five for future Katie!
No one is enjoying being restrained in the trolley. No amount of free fruit, crackers or stern “no’s” could rein in the hell being unleashed. Sienna’s yanking the trolley, Violet’s yanking Hazels hair, Hazel’s yanking all my fingers off the trolley, and I’m yanking down some sweet fresh oxygen filling my lungs to the brim, ready to unleash my own hell on these tiny she-devils…whom I love so dearly.
On our return home, I noticed a few sprinkles on the windscreen.
Honestly, if the washing gets rained on, I might just turn into a thunder God and let the rain wash over me while performing the most obscene booming of words my mouth can assemble.
To end the night, Sienna asked me to read her “The bear went over the mountain”. One thing I really love to do is to read to my kids. After I started she said to me “no mummy, you are meant to sing it” so of course, I started singing. A few sentences in she cuts me off abruptly with “actually, you can just read it”. Tim offered to get me some ice for that “SICK BURN”. I’m currently digging him a hole in the backyard.
Katie is a loving mum to 3 girls aged 4 and 18mo twins. She works for herself casually as a hairdresser and loves sharing stories about her busy days to brighten up other people’s days.
Follow along on her Facebook page HERE.
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